Most young men would look at their lives and say they’re “fine.”
Decent job. Roof over their head. Food in the fridge. No real problems.
And yet—something is off.
They wake up tired.
They move through the day on autopilot.
They feel empty, numb, directionless—and they don’t know why.
This growing sense of meaninglessness in young men is becoming one of the most overlooked psychological issues of modern life.
That’s the part that fucks with them the most.
Because they’re not depressed.
They’re not broke.
They’re not in crisis.
So what the hell is wrong?
Here’s the truth most people don’t want to hear:
The problem isn’t suffering. The problem is meaninglessness.
If you’re asking yourself how purpose is actually found—not in theory, but in real life—I explore that question in a short piece here.
The real crisis isn’t pain.
It’s the absence of purpose.
Meaninglessness is the new smoking.
It’s socially accepted.
It’s everywhere.
And it’s slowly killing men from the inside out.
Not physically—psychologically.
We’ve built a world optimized for comfort.
- Endless entertainment
- Minimal physical hardship
- Constant stimulation
- No clear responsibilities
- Zero friction
- No real demands.
And people wonder why men feel dead inside…
Comfort isn’t evil. Hardship isn’t holy.
But comfort alone fulfills none of your basic psychological needs.
A life built only on comfort produces one thing and one thing only: deficiency.
No direction.
No hunger.
No fire.
The real danger isn’t hardship.
The real danger is waking up every day with nothing pulling you forward.
Emptiness is the enemy.
The Paradox of Modern Comfort
So the obvious question is this:
Why do so many people feel like shit when, on paper, life has never been better?
We’re safe.
We’re fed.
We’re entertained 24/7.
Modern life is comfortable as hell. Medicine has advanced. Convenience is everywhere. Pain has been minimized, optimized, and padded on all sides.
And yet—depression and anxiety are exploding.
This helps explain why so many young men feel empty despite living objectively comfortable lives.
Especially among young men between 18 and 35.
That’s not a coincidence.
Here’s what’s really happening: comfort dulls the pain of emptiness, but it does nothing to fill it.
Comfort numbs.
It distracts.
It sedates.
But it never answers the question that actually matters.
There’s a massive difference between figuring out how to avoid suffering and figuring out what’s worth suffering for.
Modern life is obsessed with the first question and completely ignores the second.
And that’s the paradox:
When nothing is required of you, nothing feels necessary.
When nothing is necessary, life feels empty.
A life without existential pressure doesn’t feel peaceful.
It feels meaningless.
And meaninglessness always collects its debt.
Viktor Frankl and the Existential Vacuum
When it comes to meaning, there’s one name you can’t ignore: Viktor E. Frankl.
Not some Instagram guru.
Not a hustle bro.
A man who watched human beings stripped down to nothing and still asked one question: Why do some people survive while others collapse?
Frankl’s conclusion was simple—and brutal.
Humans don’t primarily live for pleasure.
They don’t primarily live for power.
They live for meaning.
When that meaning disappears, a deep lack of purpose takes its place.
And when meaning disappears, something else takes its place: what Frankl called the existential vacuum —a psychological state of chronic emptiness and inner void.
It´s symptomes?
- Chronic boredom
- Emotional numbness
- Loss of direction
- Feeling replaceable
- Lack of inner drive
Frankl noticed something important. This vacuum doesn’t usually appear when people are fighting to survive. It shows up in affluent societies—when survival is guaranteed, roles dissolve, and traditions fall apart.
Sound familiar?
Here’s the part most people miss: meaning cannot be consumed.
You can’t buy it.
You can’t stream it.
You can’t numb your way into it.
Meaning is created through responsibility.
Through contributing to something bigger than yourself.
Through the way you choose to face difficulty.
And this is exactly where modern society fails men.
It removes the pressure—but offers no worthy reason to live.
Hedonism vs. Eudaimonia
To really understand what’s going on, you need to understand one critical distinction.
It’s an old one—but it’s more relevant than ever.
Hedonism versus eudaimonia.
This distinction lies at the heart of modern dissatisfaction.
This isn’t new. Aristotle was already talking about this thousands of years ago.
Hedonism is about pleasure. Comfort. Feeling good right now.
It’s the dopamine hit. The distraction. The escape.
Eudaimonia is something entirely different.
It’s about meaning. Growth. Values. Responsibility. Contribution.
It’s the difference between asking, “Does this feel good?”
and asking, “Does this matter?”
Modern psychology backs this up. Researchers like Ryan & Deci, and later Huta & Ryan, showed the same pattern again and again:
Hedonic well-being feels good in the short term.
Eudaimonic well-being stabilizes you in the long term.
Here’s the uncomfortable truth:
A life full of pleasure can still feel empty.
A life full of meaning often feels difficult—but it’s deeply fulfilling.
And this is where modern society gets it wrong.
We optimize everything for feels good.
Instant gratification. Endless stimulation. Zero friction.
But we almost never ask whether it means something.
So we trade long-term meaning for short-term happiness—and then wonder why people feel lost, anxious, and hollow inside.
Pleasure is easy.
Meaning demands something from you.
And that demand is exactly what gives life its weight.
Dopamine, Overstimulation, and Emotional Numbness
There’s also a biochemical layer to all of this—and it revolves around one hormone everyone loves to misunderstand: dopamine.
Dopamine is not a happiness hormone.
It never was.
As neuroscientist Kent Berridge has shown, dopamine is a wanting signal. It’s about motivation, anticipation, and pursuit—not satisfaction.
Dopamine doesn’t spike after you get what you want.
It spikes before.
Now look at the world we’ve built.
Your phone.
Social media.
Endless notifications.
Infinite scrolling.
This constant dopamine overstimulation overwhelms the nervous system.
It’s a digital casino, engineered to drip-feed you constant micro-hits of dopamine, with almost no downtime. Just stimulation on top of stimulation.
The result?
Severe sensory overload.
Chronic emotional exhaustion.
And a growing sense of inner emptiness—right down to the biochemical level.
Your nervous system is running at full speed all day long, but it’s going nowhere.
This is exactly what psychiatrist Anna Lembke describes in Dopamine Nation: a society overstimulated, underfulfilled, and burned out by its own pleasures.
Here’s the key distinction most people miss:
Dopamine keeps you busy.
Meaning gives you direction.
Stimulation masks meaninglessness.
It distracts from it.
It numbs it.
But it never cures it.
And as you’ve already seen—what isn’t cured doesn’t disappear. It just comes back stronger, emptier, and harder to ignore.
Why Young Men Are Hit the Hardest
Young men are getting hit harder than anyone else—and here’s why:
The world used to have clear role models. Men you could look up to, learn from, and measure yourself against.
Men who were needed, respected, and challenged by life itself.
Those days are gone.
Today, society has shifted.
Young men are needed less than ever.
The social scripts glorify pleasure, comfort, and avoiding anything stressful. Do what feels good. Avoid pain. Chase fun.
And what happens when men aren’t needed?
When society doesn’t demand anything of them?
They feel interchangeable.
Directionless.
Empty.
Here’s the brutal truth:
Meaning does not grow in comfort.
It does not bloom in ease.
It can only grow when you are needed.
When you accomplish something.
When you face challenges and matter in the world.
Comfort is seductive.
But it is a trap.
Because wherever everything is safe, soft, and easy—meaning cannot exist.
Hopefully, by now, this article has hit you hard enough to open your eyes: meaning matters. And the absence of it? It will ruin your life if you let it.
In today’s world, falling into meaninglessness is easy as hell. The hedonistic path is wide open, paved with comfort, distraction, and endless “feels good” traps.
Here’s the kicker: meaning isn’t something you can grab like an object.
There’s no instruction manual.
No compass.
No map.
Meaning comes from responsibility.
From stepping out of your comfort zone.
From contributing to something bigger than yourself.
There’s no shortcut. There’s no hack.
Meaning is non-negotiable if you want a life that actually matters.
That empty, restless feeling you have right now? That’s not a defect.
It’s a warning.
A signal.
You haven’t found your meaning yet.
If you want a starting point for thinking about how purpose is found in real life, this short article might help.
Comfort can keep you alive.
Meaning gives you a reason to actually be alive.
And that difference? That’s everything.
Hope I could help. If you enjoyed the article or if you have any questions or comments please let me know down below.
Nick
