Today, let’s dive deepter into a term casually tossed around the internet more than any other – confidence.
Motivational phrases asking you to “boost your self-confidence” and finally “attain the life you desire” abound everywhere.
Confidence is portrayed as the way for achieving anything, fixing every problem you might face, and enhancing every aspect of life.
And, these benefits are not unfounded.
A substantial level of confidence can indeed elevate your professional trajectory, enhance your social interactions, boost your emotional resilience, contribute to overall well-being, and display you more appealing to others.
However, the main problem with the all posts, songs, videos, and the like is that the concept of confidence remains pretty unclear.
While it’s often stated, “If you want success, be confident,” the actual, precise meaning of this remains elusive.
As delightful as the sentiment may be, it proves useless unless expressed in more concrete terms or accompanied by a detailed explanation of how to cultivate self-confidence.
This is precisely where this article aims to help.
It provides a tangible comprehension of self-confidence and a clear, actionable guide offering steps for you to genuinely BECOME MORE SELF-CONFIDENT.
Let’s go!
What does confidence truly mean?
At its core, confidence is rooted in trust in one’s abilities and decisions. However, it’s crucial to recognize that skills are inherently tied to specific contexts, making confidence situational.
For instance, I might exude confidence in crafting the perfect Margherita pizza, but if tasked with painting after not having touched a brush in a decade, my confidence vanishes.
The instruction to “be more confident” becomes somewhat ambiguous because the pertinent question arises: “Confident in what?”
The challenge lies in the common misconception that, in practice, confidence is often used simultaneously with self-esteem. This is inaccurate.
Self-esteem is a constant, representing your overall self-evaluation.
Consequently, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to boosting self-confidence.
Instead, a clear distinction must be drawn between addressing specific situations and developing a fundamental attitude—between confidence and self-esteem.
How can you genuinely cultivate more confidence?
The pivotal question, as previously highlighted, is to pinpoint precisely what area you wish to boost your confidence in.
Given the situational nature of confidence, this initial question needs to be answered.
In essence, the first step towards heightened confidence in a specific realm is to set a goal within that domain.
This principle is universally applicable across various facets of life.
Feeling out of place at the gym? Go anyway, train, make progress and develop confidence.
Hesitant about approaching someone? Go anyway, talk to them, make progress and develop confidence.
Afraid about public speaking? Go anyway, embrace the challenge, make progress and develop confidence.
Maintaining a positive attitude towards the learning process can be immensely beneficial.
A significant reason people lack confidence in numerous areas is their reluctance to be a beginner again, to make mistakes, and to traverse the learning curve.
Ego often plays a role, as it manifests the inner voice offering plenty of reasons to abstain from taking action.
However, it’s crucial to recognize that everyone starts as a beginner and makes mistakes – it’s an inherent part of the learning journey.
Don´t believe me?
Observe a baby attempting those initial steps on two legs then – a natural and human process with inevitable falls and subsequent improvements.
Understanding the learning curve is an incredibly beneficial aspect of personal growth.
It not only aids in evaluating your initial capabilities and progress but also helps you deal with frustration at the first setback.
Additionally, expecting challenges when you first start can help with anxiety associated with starting something new.
Many individuals express concerns about the time required to excel in a particular pursuit, often citing the widely known notion that 10,000 hours are needed to achieve mastery.
However, the time is going to pass anyway, no matter if you spent it learning a new skill or casually scrolling through social media.
The choice of how to invest that time ultimately lies with the you.
Fundamental principles of learning stuff still hold true.
Establishing clear goals, recognizing personal strengths, seeking support from others, obtaining constructive feedback, and maintaining resilience and self-compassion are essential practices.
Shifting one’s perspective on difficulties from obstacles to challenges can be a powerful motivator as well.
Lastly, consistent training is key!!!
Regardless of the area, dedicating time and effort, coupled with repetition, inevitably leads to improvement.
This applies universally, whether refining social skills, mastering gym exercises, or acquiring any other skill.
If you put in the hours you´ll inevitably get better any therefore more confident in that aspect.
Enhanced competence in these areas not only benefits the present but also lays a foundation for future success.
How to build self esteem?
Building self-esteem is different from building confidence in the sence that it´s more pervasive than the situational challenges associated with confidence.
It involves cultivating habits of inner attitude and self-image to strengthen one’s sense of self-worth.
An instrumental approach to enhancing self-esteem lies in the body language.
Try this exercise:
Pose like you just won a 100-meter sprint while deliberately trying to feel negative emotions.
Now, experiment with having happy thoughts while adopting a depressed expression and slouched posture.
This exercise underscores the profound connection between body language and internal emotional states.
By consciously aligning one’s physicality with positive emotions, individuals can gradually shape their inner narrative and, consequently, boost self-esteem.
Discovering the intricacies of both body language and inner attitude reveals their interconnectedness, making the alteration of one significantly challenging without addressing the other.
This synergy allows for a conscious transformation of inner attitudes through the intentional adoption of positive, powerful, and open body language.
There is an article planned on this topic in the future as well.
For now try to find images online showcasing effective body language or power poses and try to replicate them in front of a mirror.
This practical exercise serves as a tangible starting point in harmonizing the synergy between body and mind, offering a hands-on approach to refining your internal narrative.
By consciously integrating positive body language into your daily routine, you lay the groundwork for a more confident and empowered self.
Stay tuned for an upcoming article delving deeper into the nuances of the powerful language our bodies convey.
Another effective tool in cultivating a positive self-esteem attitude is the practice of affirmations.
Incorporating this into your daily routine, such as encouraging yourself in front of the mirror every morning, can prove highly beneficial.
Initially, I was skeptical about the impact of affirmations, but I decided to give them a try anyway.
I started listening to affirmations on my headphones during my walks, and surprisingly, I noticed a shift in my inner attitude relatively quickly.
Gradually, I felt a newfound strength and increased confidence in various aspects of my life.
It was only later that I realized this positive change could only be attributed to the regular practice of affirmations.
This experience underscores the transformative potential of affirmations in shaping a more resilient and confident self-perception.
Affirmations possess a distinctly personal quality.
Try to experiment with a few affirmations available online for a few weeks.
This trial period can offer insights into the extent to which affirmations can fundamentally reshape your attitude and self-talk.
In essence, fighting negative self-talk obviously also helps in building a strong self-esteem.
While being exclusively in positive inner dialogue is close to impossible, it remains an admirable goal.
There’s little to be gained from self-deprecation, emphasizing the importance of steering one’s inner narrative toward positivity.
Preventing negative self-talk doesn’t imply setting unrealistically high expectations.
Maintaining a meditation practice proves beneficial, providing a space for heightened self-awareness.
This practice helps you realize a lot quicker whether your inner voice leans toward positivity or negativity, prompting a mindful and deliberate redirection of internal conversations towards a more productive and positive trajectory.
Cultivating this mindfulness enhances your ability to shape a constructive and optimistic self-dialogue.
To learn more about meditation check out this article
Prioritizing your self-esteem includes distancing yourself from individuals who prove detrimental to your well-being.
The task of silencing your own internal criticisms is challenging enough without the added burden of people who consistently radiate negative energy and incessant nagging.
If you find it draining to spend time with a specific individual, it serves as a clear indicator that maintaining distance in the long term is in your best interest.
Your self-esteem will undoubtedly benefit from this proactive measure.
For further insights on this subject, consider exploring a Ted Talk that delves into the impact of relationships on personal well-being.
Establishing positive self-care habits is crucial in strengthening your self-esteem.
Your subconscious mind not only registers but responds to how well you treat yourself.
Consistently engaging in unhealthy habits such as consuming junk food, avoiding social interactions, neglecting exercise, overlooking personal hygiene, and neglecting activities beneficial to your well-being will inevitably manifest in your self-esteem.
On the flip side, prioritizing self-care, ensuring your needs are met, and embodying the principle of treating yourself with the same responsibility as someone you are helping, as advocated by Jordan Peterson in his book “12 Rules for Life,” can be profoundly transformative.
By consciously adopting practices that nurture your physical, emotional, and mental health, you lay the groundwork for an elevated self-esteem.
The link between self-care and enhanced self-esteem underscores the profound impact lifestyle choices exert on one’s overall sense of self-worth.
Research has indicated that having highly moral attitudes towards specific topics can significantly impact self-esteem.
This correlation is logical; for instance, if you hold a firm moral stance against meat consumption and believe vegetarianism is the only morally justifiable choice, indulging in meat-eating might compromise your sense of happiness.
Reflecting on your emotional and moral affiliations, and critically examining your actions in light of these values, can be beneficial.
Additionally, understanding the origins of your attitudes towards these issues can provide valuable insights.
It is through such introspection that you can align your actions with your deeply held beliefs, fostering a sense of coherence and self-worth.
Finally, and this is no secret to many readers of this blog, comparing yourself to others, especially on social media, can be detrimental to your self-esteem.
There will always be someone in the world who is taller, better looking, fitter, wealthier, or more powerful than you.
However, there’s no value in berating yourself for things beyond your sphere of influence.
Personally, adopting a stoic attitude toward these comparisons has proven helpful.
Recognizing the areas of your life where you have control and accepting those you don’t can be liberating.
Moreover, realizing that the people you envy may, in turn, envy something about you can create a shift in perspective.
It’s a paradoxical world where everyone desires something others possess, and dissatisfaction seems pervasive.
In such scenarios, meditation can be a valuable practice to tune into your inner dialogue, allowing you to modify it if needed.
Embracing this mindset promotes a healthier relationship with yourself and diminishes the negative impact of external comparisons on self-esteem.
Hope I could help. If you enjoyed the article or if you have any questions or comments please let me know down below.
Nick
