“Being a man means to be in competition with the world.”
To be a man is to ENTER THE ARENA every single day, facing a silent but relentless competition with the world around you.
This competition isn’t spoken about openly, yet it governs our lives. We measure ourselves against others, constantly comparing achievements, skills, and successes, even as we pretend we’re above it.
But here’s the irony: modern society despises competition.
Especially when it comes to men. While women are encouraged to “lean in,” to dominate their careers, and to fight for success with loud cheers of “You go, girl!” echoing behind them, men are often chastised for the same ambitions. Assertiveness and competitiveness in men are too often dismissed as “toxic masculinity” or dismissed as relics of a bygone era.
Why? Because competition makes people UNCOMFORTABLE.
Society has created a narrative where ambition and drive in men are traits to be condemned. It’s almost as if criticizing such traits has become the narrative we live in. Publicly, a man showing ambition risks being labeled outdated, oppressive, or even harmful. The underlying biological basis is denied.
Privately, his family or closest friends might still cheer him on, but the larger cultural current often works against him. The world seems intent on molding men into PASSIVE, AGREEABLE PARTICIPANTS instead of allowing them to embrace their nature as creators, builders, and leaders.
Nowadays, anyone who dares to identify as a man and behaves even remotely in line with this is labeled “toxic.” It’s practically social suicide for a man to publicly exhibit such traits. He’s instantly cast as someone evil, someone blindly following traditions without questioning them.
Competition: Condemned Yet Inescapable
From the earliest age, children are taught that competition is something to avoid. Schools sugarcoat losing with “participant awards,” renaming failure as “second winner” or “honorable mention.” But deep down, EVERYONE knows the truth: in a race, there’s only one winner. Pretending otherwise doesn’t change reality—it only creates disillusioned young men who are unprepared for the challenges of the real world.
And this aversion to competition isn’t harmless.
When men are discouraged from striving to win, they grow up internalizing the idea that ambition is wrong. Media reinforces this. Look at the villains in children’s movies—how often is their downfall tied to their high ambitions? Meanwhile, the heroes are celebrated for rejecting ambition, learning to be content with mediocrity, and choosing the “simpler things in life.”
This narrative is DANGEROUS. It creates generations of men who feel guilty for wanting more. And when these same men stumble into the harsh reality of life, where success demands grit and competition, they flounder.
And then society has the audacity to ask, “Where have all the real men gone?”
The Hidden Truth: Life Is a Competition
Here’s the paradox: society might preach equality and fairness, but reality couldn’t care less. Life is a constant battle for limited resources—be it wealth, status, power, or romantic success.
Only now, our modern world does a good job of hiding this fact. We live in a society filled with weak young men, which comes with its own set of problems.
Because as harsh as it may sound, things many of us strive for—status, power, sex, and money—ARE NOT DISTRIBUTED EQUALLY. Like so many things in life, a small percentage of people have access to a large portion of these things.
- Wealth? The top 10% hold more than 80% of the world’s wealth.
- Romance? Studies show that a small percentage of men (around 10-15%) receive the majority of attention from women (just look at dating apps). Moreover, social sciences consistently confirm women’s hypergamous tendencies in mate selection, which explains and fuels this dynamic.
- Status? With status, this is relatively obvious when you look at how groups make decisions. One person often stands out early on, heavily influencing and leading the group. Consequently, only a few can sit at the top of the hierarchy.
- Power? Is basically a combination of the traits above…
The numbers don’t lie: resources are scarce, and the competition for them is fierce. Pretending otherwise only leaves you ill-equipped to claim your share.
The Consequences of Avoiding the Fight
Men who shy away from competition don’t just miss out on success—they suffer BIOLOGICALLY AND PSYCHOLOGICALLY. Dr. Jordan Peterson explains this in his book 12 Rules for Life, drawing parallels to lobsters. When lobsters lose dominance battles, their brain chemistry changes. They become more submissive, less willing to fight, and sink further down the hierarchy. Humans are no different. Lose often enough, and you’ll stop trying altogether.
And this isn’t just about personal pride. It’s about survival. The modern world might try to hide the competitive nature of life, but the stakes are as real as ever. Whether it’s a job, a partner, or your place in society, there’s always someone ready to take your spot if you hesitate.
“Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.”
Reclaiming the Competitive Edge
If this truth feels overwhelming, that’s good—it means you’re paying attention. Pressure isn’t your enemy; it’s your catalyst. USE IT TO FUEL YOUR GROWTH!
In short: aim to become the absolute best version of yourself.
The beauty of this competitive reality is that the bar is shockingly low for most areas of life.
- Fitness? Do ten push-ups a day, and you’re already doing more than most.
- Knowledge? Read one book a month, and you’ll be better informed than the majority.
- Health? Drop processed foods and start exercising, and you’ll stand out in a world plagued by obesity and inactivity.
The top 20% is accessible to anyone willing to show up.
Breaking into the top 5% or 1%? That’s where the real work begins. But even then, the question is: how far are you willing to go?
The Path Forward
To be a man means embracing what society fears most: competition. Not out of malice, but because it’s in your nature. You are not here to merely exist; you are here to excel. Stop apologizing for your ambition. Stop hiding your desire to improve.
Reclaim your right to strive. The world will try to pull you down, mock your efforts, and tell you it’s all for nothing. Ignore them. They’re wrong.
The truth is simple: if you refuse to compete, you’ve already lost. But if you’re willing to face the challenge, to step into the arena with courage and determination, you’ve already won the first battle.
Because in the end, being a man isn’t just about competing—it’s about conquering.
Hope I could help. If you enjoyed the article or if you have any questions or comments please let me know down below.
Nick
