Imagine a young man—let’s call him John—who’s in his early twenties and has various aspects of his life well under control.
However, John hasn’t experienced much success with women thus far.
Now, he’s determined to change that and maximize his success in the process.
John is aware that he’s a good-hearted individual.
Nonetheless, he’s eager to earnestly bring out his most appealing qualities when it comes to dating.
But what exactly are his most attractive traits? This question ponders in John’s mind.
His mother, a resolute woman, has consistently instilled in him the values of treating others with respect and being a gentleman to women.
She always emphasized that a person’s true strength lies in their consideration for others.
However, many of John’s friends hold a different viewpoint.
They advise him to primarily focus on his own interests, prioritize his needs, and not overly concern himself with others’ emotions.
The movies and music John engages with often depict individuals who, by displaying respect and setting aside their own desires, eventually win the hearts of women and achieve their objectives in all facets of life.
This accomplishment is predominantly attributed to their empathy and thoughtfulness.
John’s previous relationship concluded with his ex-girlfriend opting for one of those conceited bad boys.
This deeply unsettled John because he believed she should have chosen someone as virtuous as himself.
With these thoughts weighing on his mind, John ventures to a bar that night.
As fate would have it, he spots someone who captures his attention.
However, he finds himself at a loss on how to proceed.
He exists in a world riddled with contradictions.
Which facets of his personality should he emphasize now?
While this narrative is fictional, it raises a query that perplexed many of my friends and me not long ago.
We engaged in numerous discussions about this topic since our society harbors a plethora of opinions regarding how men should conduct themselves in the realm of dating.
On one hand, we often encounter the notion, especially in our increasingly feminized society, that women are attracted to the gentleman archetype—someone unfailingly respectful, courteous, well-groomed, and willing to prioritize others over oneself.
Conversely, all of us have likely witnessed how men possessing less-than-admirable traits can captivate women’s interest.
When one’s partner abandons them for a complete imbecile, it raises doubts about the validity of everything previously taught.
So, the ultimate question remains: Who holds the correct perspective?
Well, none and both.
Allow me to elucidate.
Naturally, individual preferences play a significant role in what people find appealing.
Thus, in this article, our discourse pertains to the norm rather than extraordinary circumstances.
Consequently, a considerable portion of men might be inclined to consider a woman attractive if she possesses flawless facial features, large eyes, and a well-proportioned figure.
Dissimilarly, for most women, a man’s outward appearance does hold some importance, but it is his character that genuinely determines his level of attractiveness.
The two vastly contrasting extremes mentioned at the story’s outset—the bad boy and the gentleman—each exhibit character traits that hold allure for women, alongside traits that are considerably less appealing.
Bad Boys tend to exude heightened confidence, march to the beat of their own drum, and often showcase greater candor due to their diminished concern for causing offense.
Additionally, they often excel in providing protection.
However, these attributes can frequently lead to toxic relationships (assuming a relationship forms at all), as they might come across as profoundly disrespectful and ill-suited for long-term familial bonds.
Gentlemen, conversely, tend to exhibit politeness, respectfulness, and a well-groomed appearance, all of which are immensely attractive character traits.
However, in contrast to the Bad Boy archetype, they may lack the same degree of self-confidence and self-awareness.
They often conform to rules more readily and show a reluctance to inflict harm upon others.
Nevertheless, a prevailing issue with many gentlemen is that they often deceive both themselves and others.
Their purported respect for others is often rooted in an avoidance of causing harm and thereby manipulation.
This supposed “respect” is frequently centered around achieving one’s own, perhaps unexpressed, objectives.
Consequently, this behavior isn’t genuinely respectful in nature.
Moreover, the virtue of yielding precedence to others (in various contexts) frequently stems from fear rather than authentic benevolence.
In many instances, the label of “gentleman” is employed as a cover to rationalize specific behavior rather than truly embodying its essence.
This façade isn’t particularly appealing, given its evident reasons.
Sooner or later, underlying motives tend to emerge, revealing the individual as essentially a timid boy rather than a true gentleman, considering the authentic definition.
Thus, to conclusively address the question, it likely necessitates a fusion of both personas.
The self-assuredness and assertiveness emblematic of the bad boy, when combined with the loyal, affectionate, and dependable attributes exhibited by the gentleman, seemingly constitute a selection of character traits that maximally heightens a man’s attractiveness on average.
Hope I could help. If you enjoyed the article or if you have any questions or comments please let me know down below.
Nick
